Over and Done?

I dreamed this morning that the house on this property we purchased had not been included in the sale, after all. I was furious, looking at the papers and maps that showed the house’s footprint as blank on a shaded area map.

I complained to everyone. Almost everyone was sympathetic. Then I began to think. I needed a lawyer. I talked to people about lawyers. I looked up information on real estate processes. I talked to more friends, who remained outraged on my behalf.

A cold feeling had settled into my stomach at the start of the dream. As I walked in the dream world town, searching for a law office and a real estate records office, the cold feeling eased. I consulted with friends who said that what happened could not be legal. I felt better.

Then I remembered something from the real world: my real estate agent was a friend of mine. She would not have allowed me to sign bad paperwork.

In reality, my friend SOLD a house for me. She had not helped my purchase Stone Glades, where I now live. In the dream, these events combined.

I woke feeling grim and anxious, ready to continue work on this. I need a house to live in! . Then I remembered that the dream had been fiction.

The lesson I draw is that the terrible situation waned as I consulted with friends and worked to fix it. It was not pleasant but it was definitely improvement.

Not Just Dates

Friend of mine posted about needing to date people who were excited to be with him. Enthusiasm on both sides is necessary to success in a relationship.

This important advice is true of friendships, too. I spent about two years chasing a group of friends. They invited me in at first, and we were all happy together.

I began to realize, they called each other. They did not call me. But they included me. So it was ok, right?

And they made decisions without me. But included me. Perhaps as an afterthought, but still. I got to be there. I did what I was good at, listening actively, offering empathy, joining in on problem solving discussions, sharing my own issues, taking and offering advice.

And they were such cool people! Smart and talented and fun, and they cared about each other and me. They would drunk text each other and laugh about it later. They made lunch dates. Lunch an hour away from me, during work.

I tried to play catch up, calling each of them and leaving messages. Somehow those messages did not get thru? Or did I need an answer? My message had not been clear…why had I called? They would look at each other blankly when I asked why someone had not returned my calls.

It was very confusing, I could not understand what I was doing wrong.

My wake up came when one of the group landed in the emergency room. Almost a month passed before I found out. “Yeah, you were not there” one said, when I exclaimed that I had not known and was sorry she had been ill. “Who was it that called me when it happened? Is there a call list?” I asked, and was not answered.

Eventually the group fell apart, and my bitterness probably contributed. The thing is, not one of these friends intended to hurt me or leave me out. There was no vicious campaign behind my back.

They were enthusiastic about each other and did not realize they had neglected one of their invitees. And there was nothing compelling enough about their friendship towards me that made it a surmountable problem.

It took awhile to gain that wisdom. I am glad to have learned it. Because now I have friends who really are genuinely excited to know me, and I feel the same towards them.

Let your weird light shine, so your fellow weirdos can find you! Silly but true words.

Necessity…

My bug-drowning bucket disappeared; I expect it is full of nails in Chris’ shop, now. So there I am in my garden, staring at Asian marmorated stink bugs as they mate on the tomatoes they ruined.

I am not going to let these little horrors survive. They do not deserve to have my tomatoes or squash! …but what to use?

The recycle bin is the first place to check. Most things in the bin are containers, very useful, designed for my hand to hold. And right on top is a laundry soap bottle! The lip is scoop shaped, and the cap is a tiny bucket. Not only is this easier to hold, its smaller size makes it easier to move around my tangled tomato vines.

A few drops of soap and a cup of water go in, and then I am scooping marmorated monsters, many of whom were in the process of making MORE little marmorated monsters. They go into the cup, the cup goes into the bottle, shake a couple times and the bugs disappear into the bottle’s soapy water.

Which means tomorrow I should have more ripe and fewer ruined tomatoes. Yum!

Be Real

The author of one of the best children’s books ever written, a story about a bat and birds that also teaches children about bats and birds, wrote another book. It was about fake creatures she made up, a story about those fake creatures that taught children about the fake creatures.

Why do we do this? No child needs to learn details about fake creatures without being explicitly told that they are fake.

The third book was about a real kind of snake, but no one cared. The format worked for the first book. And that book is still a bestseller, because it is just that wonderful.

Mis-education is just lying. Tell me something real and interesting, and then tell me something fake so you can laugh and mock? This is bad management. Do you want bad kids? That is one way to do it.

Of course you do not want bad children. We want children to do well. We want to do well. Be real about what you want.

Why I Am Not a White Supremacist

10. Uniforms bore me.
9. Pokemon Go takes up too much of my time.
8. Key & Peele
7. It limits my dancing partner options.
6. Limitations are boring.
5. Cheese cannot be my only source of joy. I need those tropical cuisines.
4. Neal DeGrasse Tyson
3. White people invented itchy wool. Brown people invented cotton and silk.
2. Tiki torches just don’t move me to hate people.
 
AND:
 
1. When I go outside, sunlight literally burns my skin.
The Sun. Burns. Me.
Literally, sunlight, which is everywhere, burns me, which is white (with speckles). There is no way my people are superior if we cannot safely handle the most ubiquitous thing besides air.
The end.