My Predictions for the Last Season of GoT:

Dragonglass trends like mad, everyone just has to own a dagger or two.

Highgarden faces its first flu epidemic. Cersei sends out troops; flu decimates their ranks, she dies on Arya’s poisoned blade and good riddance.

Sansa sends out letters of petition for a decent husband, Brienne matches her with Podrick.

Dragon eats Euron, Yara takes to the sea, leaves Theon in charge. Hijinks ensue.

Jorah meets his little cousin Lyanna, who sets him to work rebuilding her troops. He defects to the Night’s Watch because sad Jorah, no Dany.

Jamie catches up with Brienne and they are BFF again, Jamie is best man at Brienne and Tormud’s wedding. Jamie and Tyrion reunite. Dany matches Jamie and Lyanna Mormont, there is much eye-rolling.

Free folk settle at Riverrun and Casterly Rock, re-name them Fishy and Rocky. Targaryens settle in at Dragonstone and breed like bunnies.

Arya marries beneath her and takes the Eyrie; her direwolves win all the dog shows. Dothraki take King’s Landing, settle down and get fat. Sometimes seen staring wistfully across the sea until their children hug them.

White walkers lose their sense of direction and become ordinary backyard pests. Everyone has dragonglass, so no biggie! Ice dragon is chained up in Arya’s backyard.

Final scene: Tyrion sitting on Iron Throne, holding up and frowning at a dragon egg just as it begins to crack, breaks the fourth wall to sigh at the audience.


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