Horrendous, Annoying, Nothing Dangerous Day

Kind of a horrendous day. In that mild, seriously annoying, nothing dangerous happened way. You know, those technical things at work that screw up because there isn’t a good method for handling the thing? And when you talk to people about what is causing the problem they argue that Jupiter’s big red spot isn’t really big and what can you say to that?

Forgot to take my allergy antigen drops this morning, so my eyes itched and my nose ran all day. Called Mom this morning, which was awesome-sauce, but that meant I forgot to do my 6 minute meditation. I haven’t kept up with my day planner and I failed to write yesterday. I suck. I fail. I have to be OK with this and get over it. ugh.

Still have glass recycling in my car and could not go to the dump today, tomorrow it’s closed and Friday I have another lunch meeting. So I’ll have bottles rattling around my car for another 3 days and they’ve already been there three days. Double ugh. More fail.

But I DID manage to fulfill a promise, packing two more boxes of books and putting all 4 boxes into my car and giving them to the family up the street who homeschools their 6 children. I bought honey and vegetables from them and she mentioned that one of her older daughters has genius-level IQ and LOVES to read. They’re tossing books into the recycle bins at work so I’m desperate to find people who need reading material.

I really don’t understand why any books ever get tossed. So many people need to read.
So much stuff gets thrown away. So much useable stuff. I hate that.

I had some serious revelation earlier today, one of those physics-meets-humanity-with-Gandhi at the wheel kind of revelations, the kind that is so mind-blowing that you’re sure you will always remember. I have no idea now what it was.

Maybe it was about time travel? No, that was a few days ago. RIght, where I realized that if a time machine used a transporter-kind of thing that turns the body into light waves, that at the end of your trip when you re-formed you would not really be made of the same atoms. So there would be no paradox in meeting yourself. Because you’d be made of all different matter. I felt super-smart about that one but I’m sure some geek could bust that idea in a moment.

So I was looking forward to a quiet, relaxing evening but ended up in conflict, angry and frustrated. I managed to work thru it, partly thru planning some gardens. I don’t have a gardening computer app or planner like I WANT to have, because it doesn’t exist. But maybe I could draw it myself and color it with my colored pencils.

Positive side:  might have solid agreement to get rid of some useless crap.
Colored pencils are awesome. Not as awesome as red wine, or Jupiter’s red spots. But awesome.

Did yoga this morning and treadmill walk this evening, so I feel totally smug.

I used to be so proud of my very accurate, in-depth memory. But that memory appears to have been fueled by the state of constant anxiety I lived in, where my lizard-brain carefully recorded everything in case it helped me survive. But now I have learned that creative, effective people have very little memory, they let the past go and re-create themselves, project by project. I want to be a creative, effective people. I also want to believe that I did it right all along, fighting to survive the way I did. I want credit for still being alive. heh.

Ok, I am going to wash my potato crisp-crusted fingers and try to relax. Ugh.

And also, one of my teeth appears to be disintigrating. At least I know now why I’ve had a mild, occassional toothache around that. Having a hard time seeing the bright side of that.


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